Adrian Mole, the Early Years by Sue Townsend

Author:Sue Townsend
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2017-07-27T00:00:00+00:00

Might be a girl

Loss of independence

More family allowance

George doesn’t want it

Months of looking like the side of a house

Pain during labour

Adrian bound to be jealous

Dog might not take to it

Am I too old at 37?

Varicose veins

PAS

FRIDAY JUNE 18TH

I pretended to be enthusiastic about the baby at breakfast today. I asked my mother if she had thought of any names yet. My mother said, ‘Yes. I’m going to call her Christabel.’

Christabel! It sounds like somebody out of Peter Pan. Nobody is called Christabel. The poor kid.

SATURDAY JUNE 19TH

Nigel and I went for a bike ride today. We set out to look for a wild piece of countryside so that we could get back to nature and stuff. We pedalled for miles but all the woods and fields were guarded by barbed wire and ‘KEEP OUT’ notices, so we could only get near to nature.

On the way back we had a philosophical discussion about war. Nigel is dead keen on it. It is his ambition to join the army. He said, ‘It’s a good life, and when I come back to civvy street I’ll have a trade.’

I thought, ‘What, as a contract killer?’ But I didn’t say anything. Most of the army cadets I know forget that real soldiers have to kill people.

SUNDAY JUNE 20TH

Second after Trinity. Fathers’ Day

My father has hogged the television for over a week, watching the lousy, stinking World Cup. This afternoon when I asked if I could watch a BBC2 documentary about rare Norwegian plants he refused to let me switch over, and he sat in the dark watching France versus Kuwait. He was sulking because I forgot it was Fathers’ Day. I made an official protest to my mother but she refused to arbitrate, so I went up to my room and brought my Falklands campaign map up to date. I also checked my Building Society account to see if I can afford a black-and-white portable. I am sick of being dependent on my parents’ television set.

I went downstairs just in time to see a dead good pitch invasion led by an Arab bloke in a head-dress. I don’t mind watching an interesting pitch invasion, it’s the football I can’t stand.

MONDAY JUNE 21ST

Longest Day. New Moon

Mr Scruton summoned the whole school into the assembly hall this morning. Even the teachers who are atheists were forced to attend.

I was dead nervous. It’s ages since I broke a school rule but Scruton makes you feel dead guilty somehow. When the doors were closed and the whole school was lined up in rows Scruton nodded to Mrs Figges, who was sitting at the piano, and she started playing ‘Hallelujah!’

Some of the fifth years (including Pandora) sang along using different words: ‘Hallelujah! What’s it to you?’ etc. It was quite impressive. Though I thought it was time that the blind piano tuner called again.

When the singing stopped and Mrs Figges was still, Mr Scruton walked up to his lectern, paused, and then said, ‘Today is a day that will go down in history.

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